I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I could make wine with my vomit
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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