I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
