YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You ate ashes out of my bong
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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