'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
