Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Even my vagina gasped.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
