why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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