I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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