turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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