This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
