So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
we're making bets on your personal life
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
