He kissed a someone with a penis
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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