walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
