Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
