eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
