how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
