we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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