he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he shaved USA in his pubs
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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