I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
