exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
and you fell through a lawn chair
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
