Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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