How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
