I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
