Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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