she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
