She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
