Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
