The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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