is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My dick has a subreddit
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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