Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
