Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
