I CAN MOONWALK!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
