I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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