Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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