**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Sponge bath it is.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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