i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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