I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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