Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
