How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
