i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
