All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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