I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
