i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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