I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
