we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
