I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
