I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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