why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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