my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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