WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
