I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
