I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
